Blech.

I'm sorry, I just don't think male swimmers are attractive. At all. Sorry guys.

The Inevitable Return of the Great White T.

NOT DEAD!!!! Yep, that's right. :o)

How long has it been since I last updated? Sheesh man. Beginning of March it seems. Well, I could throw out every excuse in the book, but I'll spare you all and just try to catch up the last 3 months in one beautiful, heartfelt entry. Sound good? Eh. I think I'm losing my touch honestly.

Sooo... the big ole Spring Break Milwaukee 2004! Err.. 3 months ago! It was grand fun. Colleen and Ben were waiting for me in the airport with a poster sign reading "Slashers 2004". I'm sure many others were confused, but whatever. Hehe. But anyway, it was raining a bit on the way back, and as luck would have it, Ben's windshield wipers decided to stop functioning just days before. So.. we drove carefully? Heh. But yeah.. first stop.. Grocery City!

I'm in a bit of an odd mood, so I throw my beautissimus Philadelphia cream cheese into the shopping cart freethrow style, illiciting cheers from many toddlers in aisle 9. Well, not really. But that would have been cool. I think the only thing it accomplished was having Ben look at me oddly, but yeah. More shop shop shopping. At one point, me and Colleen came across bags of powdered doughnuts. Ok.. BAGS. As in, plastic. As in.. bread-style. And I just went, "These are sold in bags? Huh?" Cue Ben from around the corner. Cue Ben picking up said powdered doughnut bag and placing it in cart. Cue hysterical laughter.

Wow, this update is going to take forever at this rate. I really do remember too many details. Lemme speed this along. So basically, Colleen and Ben rule for letting me crash their apartment for an entire week. I slept on the infamous futon, and I saw their lovely yellowfied kitchen. We drank Sprite Remix like nobody's business (though, I think Colleen had a few more than me) and watched gay gay gay movies up da' hizzouz. We also went to this cute little store that was going out of business and I bought a few things for my then-future apartment. A sun/moon/star mirror and a clock made out of a can of black beans. Really rare, the cashier told me. Heh, like I care. Now give me my change. Something like that.

Ok.. skipping skipping skipping... I of course got a cheesehead hat and a t-shirt that says, "Where's the Bubbler?" For those of you not into the Southeastern Wisconsin slang, that's a water fountain. :o) But anyway, also got to see where Colleen works and hang out there for a while. The ham and swiss sandwich in the Starbucks is glorious, I really must say. But anyway, I of course found the Gay section of the store and hit up the "Best of the Best" erotic short story collections. Though, at one point (and I know this sounds bad), that place was mad busy, and there was nowhere to sit.. and my feet were killing me. So I crashed in the last remaining open armchair in the children's section to read my trashy gayness. So yeah. It's not like they could see what I was reading anyway. I hid the cover and all.. but Colleen still came up to me and said it might not be too good to read that there. I then had a Ron Weasley moment and said, "But everywhere else is full." And so on.

Parting was such sweet sorrow from Wisconsin, but I have a feeling it was truly time for me to go. I mean, it was an entire week. Almost. But yeah, very fun. Did I mention we went to Chicago one day to shop? Guess not. Well, we did. Heh. And Ben is a very good driver. Despite that police officer stopping him on the way back. Pointing out all his shortcomings. But anyway, I thank you both again. I shall be posting pictures I took from the trip whenever I can get near a scanner.. which should be rather soon. Hip hip!

Ok, now on to more recent things. Hmmm. Why have I been so absent? Well, work namely. Not nearly as much free time as before. And my advertising major is also really starting to bite me in the ass, as it seems there's always some sort of "huge project" due every other week. But yeah. You can all just chalk the rest up to sheer laziness. Sorry. Annnyway, Joy was right when she said Financial Management was the class from hell. I seriously went there everyday, sat down, didn't listen, and just squiggled and drew cartoons in my notes the whole time. Genuine learning right there. But I ended up with a C+ in the class.. which really couldn't make me any happier. I dreaded the D for a while there. And I've only gotten one D as a term grade in my entire life. That's right. D+ in 6th grade P.E. Woo hoo.

In other news, I am now the proud owner of Nigel, my beautiful new Ford Focus. 2004! He's ever so lovely. MP3 player, alloy wheels, spoiler. I couldn't be more proud. *sheds silent tear* But the other day, I came back to find that the birds in the trees of my apartment complex hate Nigel, and chose to shit upon him like a white, gooey downpour. It was really quite appalling how much was smeared upon my car.. and I just had it washed! So, it's pretty much caked on now. Poor, poor Nigel. I shall have to wash him again this weekend.

I am also in my very own 1 bedroom apartment in Knoxville now! Very spacious, very lovely, very clean.. and most importantly.. very air conditioned! It's 800 square feet, and I have some awesome furniture up in hee-yah. And my area rug really pulls the room together, Big Lebowski style.

A Little Slice of Tennessee Livin'.

Hey hey hey, boys and girls. Taking a break from my mountain of Advertising work to give a nice lil' update on things.

Retreat was stupid. It was just like I had taken a trip back to 7th grade and was forced to laugh all night at stupid shit (except in 7th grade stupid shit actually WAS funny). First of all, we sat around a bonfire and roasted marshmallows. Then we roasted hot dogs over it for dinner. Then I made a comment about 'schwetty weiners' and everyone said I had a dirty mind. Uhhh.. you think? So I kept making perverted comments all night for good measure. Stupid prudes.

Then we played this game called "I have never ever" where we had to say something we had never done, and if you had done what the person said, you put one of your 10 fingers down. Somebody choke me now. Anyway, it got to the point where me and this other girl were the only ones left, and I was WAAAAY in the lead, but then everyone in the circle had to go and start targeting me, saying things like, "I have never ever lived in Melrose Hall" or "I have never ever watched more than one Mr. Show episode in a row". But then came the kicker. My friend Robin said, while looking right at me, "I have never ever read Harry Potter porn." I just squinted my eyes with my 3 fingers still up, and stared right back at her. Then, with pride, I plopped down my ring finger. Then everyone looked at me with gasps of "sick" and "they make that?".. So I explained the smutty goodness and why they should all read it. No one agreed. Ah well. Jerks.

It went on and on, the laughing, the watching of Finding Nemo more than once, the constant remarks of, 'I'm having so much fun, guys.' But it didn't stop there. I was forced into buying crap I didn't want at an airbrush t-shirt place (*cough*whitetrash*cough*), and I was told the last morning there that I moan in my sleep. Nice.

The next day I called my mom to see what was going on at home, and I decided to tell her where I went all weekend and had absolutely no fun whatsoever. I described it as a "some gay retreat" and my mom just stoppped me and was like.. WHAT?! She thought I actually meant a gay retreat, as in lesbians. Also nice. Thanks mom. But really, if I was a lesbian.. wouldn't I have told her by now? Psh.

Blah blah blah, ooh, got a job at the university paper for next semester as an Advertising Production Assistant. He basically hired me on the spot. Didn't even read my application, only my transcript-- which I'm guessing was good. It's going to be 15-20 hours a week, and more hours "if I like".. yeah right. They've already destroyed my glorious 4-day weekends and sleeping until noon everyday. Not to mention me having to come back a week early from winter break just to "train". Extra hours my ass. But it should be a good experience overall. And at least I'll be getting paid for it. Hello, Spring Break money. It's good to see you again.

And now some other random news. Today I left my room at 4 o'clock, not thinking much about the weather outside. That is.. until I came back at 9 and found a giant puddle of water on my floor beside the window. "What's that?" I said to myself. Then I looked up and saw-- to my terror-- an open window. It was raining buckets outside and I left the window open all day long. But the situation got worse as I directed my attention towards my computer... which was all wet. ALL OF IT.

I freaked. I grabbed a towel out of the laundry I had just washed and started to mop it all up. I grabbed the keyboard and was greeted with a fresh downfall of cold water onto my shoes. "Well, I guess that doesn't work anymore," I said aloud. Then I saw my speakers and headphones slopped in wetness as well. I should have cried, but I didn't. I was just mildly annoyed, truthfully.

Had a spare keyboard in my closet, so I'm using that now. My speakers are kind of fooked though. It goes from kind of soft to 'LOUD, OH MY GOD WHY IS IT SO LOUD???' in the tiniest bit of a turn. So I can't really get an in-between volume, which sucks, but oh well. No way I can afford to replace them though. They're what my mom refers to as 'the best you can buy'. Yeah, needless to say, she won't be hearing about the rain incident.

There's a reason you only see them when you're about to die.

My mom swears she saw an angel kneeling beside her bed when she was halfway asleep one night. Yeah, don't ask. Now I'm thinking some angel on a rampage for blood is walking around our house and will be waiting in my bedroom to kill me whenever I go into it. Thanks, Mom.

Rumble!!!

So I couldn't get to sleep at all last night. I think I ended up dozing off sometime around 8AM... though I had been laying in my bed trying to get to sleep since 4. Must have been that 3 hour nap I took from 9 to midnight. :) I swear, my sleeping schedule has gotten so messed up this week.

At approximately 10:30AM, the stupid goddamned cleaning lady knocks on the door and invites herself in to clean the suite bathroom. She's supposed to alternate sides every week so that she's not coming in on the same side and waking up people who don't have class until 5PM, but no-ooo! I think that's just too difficult for her to remember. Then she starts having a conversation with maitenance guy out in the hallway, when she can totally see me trying to sleep! Bitch! SO LOUD!!! And she turned on all the freaking lights in the ROOM!! Why does she need those on? Clean the bathroom and GO, wench!!! So around 11, she's done, and I attempt to go back to my much needed sleep.

Then it happens. 12:30PM. A rumble next door....

"You fucking bitch!!! You fucking whore!! Why? WHY? What the fuck is your fucking problem?! I HATE YOU!!! YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! I told you personal things, and you fucking fuck everything up with all my friends!!! Why? WHY?!?! NO! Don't run away from this you fucking bitch!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!! FUUUUUCKK!!!"

These same phrases are repeated many a'times, and let me tell you... I'm awake now. I don't want to miss anything. :) The suitemates are getting down to business. Vengeance is sweet.

I hear the one being yelled at try to leave the room, but the one yelling follows her out into the hallway, not letting her get on the elevator, screaming at her all the while with the same phrases. But this time, she adds the ever pleasant, "You need psychological help you fucking whore!! Fucking HELP!!!" Ah yes. I've never met either one of my suitemates officially, but they sound like a frisky bunch.