It's a Buoy.

My sister just went into labor, so I'm rushing home. I can't leave until about 9, but I thought I'd let the ole journal know what's up. I always knew I'd be spending my last night of college classes in the hospital.

7-Year Old Boy Told to Take It Like a Man.

Hey-ho everyone. Just thought I'd get in a little story while I'm lurking my flist. Well, last week two writers from The Onion came in to speak to us here at the University of Tennessee. They talked about how they come up with their stories, and what a typical week for them is like. It was a writer who's pretty much been there from the beginning, and the guy who does all the crazy photoshopped images you see in there. Needless to say, it was pretty much awesome on all accounts. It even reminded me about my dream to be a satirist. But we'll just see how lazy I am.

Anyway, at the end of the presentation they invited everyone who wanted to stay to come up to the stage and get their mugshot taken, saying they'd probably use it in there at some point. Well.. hehe. I got mine taken. :) They warned us not to expect some great story to be with it, and said it'd most likely say "Child Molester" under our name, hehe. But, just being able to say I was in The Onion.. man. It was more than worth it. So, we'll see what they tag me as.

They asked for a few shots, some smiling, and a couple with blank, stony expressions. So, either way, it'll be hilarious. Ahh, I love that paper so much. :)

That's all for now, I s'pose. Back to my essays.

Cowboy Killers.

I feel like I'm 15 or something. I'm at home this weekend, packing up my room so my mom can move yet once again, and I got bored. Thought of the pack of cigarettes in my purse, looked at my window, then got a "bright idea". That's right-- I opened my window and smoked out of it.

Keep in mind hardly anybody knows I started smoking a few weeks ago. I was anti-smoking Queen for last 21 years or so. Anyhow, I get done and lay on my bed for a bit. Then I realize I absolutely reak of cigarettes and can't go back out to my mom smelling like that. So I Febreze my pajamas. (Smooth, real smooth, Theresa.)

Then I start packing some shit, and within two minutes of doing so, I get a knock on my door. Shit.

"Why is your door closed?"
"I always close my door."
*jiggles door knob*
"Why is your door locked?"
"I lock my doors in my apartment." (Which I do, but that's beside the point here)
"Open your door."
"...Why?"
"Just open it."

So I do.

"What are you doing in here?"
"Packing."

Here it comes.

"I smell cigarettes."

Fuck.

"Well, maybe because I smoke them."
"Why?" (unbelieving tone)
"Because I had a bad role model growing up."
*slaps me on the arm*
*slaps her back*
"Yeah, you like that one?"

And that's how it went. She did her tsk tsk thing, but seriously. I'm 21, almost 22. It's not like I'm underage and stole them from my bff's dad's brother. It's my decision, and I wanted one. So there.

Funny thing is, she took me out for ice cream not 5 minutes later, lol. Ahhh, so this is childhood.