You like that? Oooh, yeah. Just like that.

You know how when you had a Casio keyboard when you were little (or Yamaha, or whatever) and you played the 'Demo' thing so much that you now have it memorized by heart?

Well, I was watching one of my 34-second porn clip samples, courtesy of Kazaa Lite, and I knew the porny background music by heart. And I had to pause and laugh. I could sing it to you right now, actually. And then I'd sing you the Demo Song from my Yamaha keyboard. Life's crazy sometimes, isn't it?

And I'm half-drunk. So take that however you like.

Why doesn't anyone quote 'The Mask' anymore? Is it old-hat now?

Words and phrases not used nearly enough anymore:

-Gag me with a spoon
-The clap
-Vehemently
-Queef
-That's what your dad said
-Pants'ed
-When you go to the checkout counter and hear the beep, think of the fun you could have.. on Supermarket Sweep!
-Fuckface
-Ergo